Pardon the break... I need a minute to recover!

I had a graduation meeting today. I don't graduate until Dec 09 but I will spend the fall semester student teaching so this is the semester that I need to get everything in order. I am going to need a semester to get all the crap together that they need just so I can graduate! And this is stupid but the thought of graduating is freaking me out. I would not leave my kids education in my hands yet. Surely they are going to teach me some more stuff before they send me out to mess with the minds of our youth! I'm setting in this meeting and my heart is starting to do this weird beating thing... it wasn't excitement... it was my heart freaking out! I should be excited right? But I'm setting there.. and the tears are coming to my eyes. So... I'm gonna get a list made and start checking things off. Why can I not look at this in a positive way? My graduation packet is due by 4pm on Feb. 19th... this is a significant day around our house... Makayla turns 16th on Feb 19th. I could spend some time telling you about the regrets of waiting until my baby is 16 to graduate college but that is a whole different whining session right? Ok I'm going to try and close my eyes and get some sleep... if you know me very well you know that this is probably not even possible tonight! ugggghhhh Am I ever going to grow up and be an adult?